


your one wild and precious life

by Lise



Category: Journey into Mystery, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Scarlet Witch (Comic)
Genre: Bonding, Canon - Comics, Friendship, Gen, Kid Loki, Light Angst, Loki Needs a Hug, Wanda Maximoff Deserves Better, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, playing a little with comics timelines to make this work but o well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10765995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Wanda is trying to work her way back into the Avengers' good graces, and now there's a weirdly familiar looking kid sitting on her couch.





	your one wild and precious life

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember exactly where this idea came up but it definitely had something to do with [ramblingredrose](http://ramblingredrose.tumblr.com), founder of the Wanda Maximoff Defense Squad. 
> 
> I haven't actually written about these two in comics canon before! But I have liked the idea of Kid Loki interacting with Wanda for a long while, and decided to go ahead and make something of it. It requires some timeline bending, considering that Wanda was Mysteriously Absent for a while there (off in Latveria?) and they never even got close to interacting. But they should've. 
> 
> This fic works from _Journey Into Mystery, Young Avengers_ and the glimpses of Wanda we got between _Avengers Disassembled_ and _Uncanny Avengers._
> 
> Thanks to [ameliarating](http://ameliarating.tumblr.com) for her swift beta, and [the aforementioned Rosie](http://ramblingredrose.tumblr.com) for delightful enabling.

Wanda closed and locked the door behind her, taking a deep breath - and letting her head drop forward with a heavy sigh, one hand braced on the handle. She was _tired._ She could say it was from working her magic, muscles weakened from lack of real use, but the truth was harder than that, and had more to do with her friends. 

Carol was welcoming, and Jan seemingly ecstatic, but for the rest…

_I’m not going to hide,_ she’d snapped to Pietro, when he suggested that she “visit” Crystal on the moon while she was “recovering.” _I’m not a coward, and running away isn’t going to make anything better. I proved myself once. I can do it again, and I will._

_You chose this,_ Wanda reminded herself. She wasn’t going to back down just because things were - a little awkward and uncomfortable.

_That’s charitable,_ said a nasty little voice, and Wanda silenced it. 

“Excuse me,” someone said behind her, with a polite little cough. Wanda whirled around, her magic already at hand, and stopped, blinking at the slight young boy sitting cross-legged on her couch, wide bright green eyes a little too innocent. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but you seemed upset and I didn’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“How did you-” Something faintly familiar about this boy prickled at the back of her mind, but she couldn’t quite pin it down. He looked - maybe ten or twelve, younger than her own sons, but small even for his age. His black hair looked mussed and like it needed a trim; her fingers itched a little for scissors to at least get it out of his eyes.

Wanda shook herself. This was a strange boy who had appeared in her house, and she knew well that few things were exactly what they seemed. “Who are you?” She asked, more firmly. “And what are you doing in my apartment?”

The boy looked a little surprised by the question. “Looking for you, of course,” he said. “You _are_ Lady Wanda Maximoff, right?”

_Lady Wanda Maximoff,_ she thought. That was a new one. “Yes,” she said. “I am, but that doesn’t really answer the question. Either one.” 

The boy - squirmed. She studied his face, trying to puzzle out the source of that strange familiarity. “Oh, well,” he said. “You’re arguably the most powerful sorcerer - sorceress - on this - ah, planet, excepting maybe Doctor Strange, but he’s a bit - well, I don’t think we’d get along.” He gave Wanda a hopeful smile, eyes widening a calculated hair. “I’m very curious about magic, and there’s only so much one can get from books.”

Wanda narrowed her eyes. “So you broke into my house?” 

“ _Well…_ ”

“And you still haven’t told me your name,” she reminded him, fixing him with her sternest stare. 

“Right, yes,” he said quickly. “It’s,” but then Wanda had it. She didn’t quite lurch back, but she did raise her hands, a hex on her lips. 

“ _Loki?_ ”

His eyes went even wider than hers, and then, to Wanda’s surprise, he vaulted over the back of the couch and dropped behind it. “Don’t hurt me!” He said. “I’m not here to cause trouble, I promise.”

Wanda didn’t lower her hands, but that was not the reaction of the Loki she was familiar with. The Loki, if she recalled correctly, that she’d heard had died in Norman Osborn’s mad attack on Asgardia. She hadn’t heard anything about _this._

Maybe, Wanda thought a little sourly, it was just that no one had bothered to tell her. 

Loki - and it _was_ Loki, she could see that now - looked at her nervously where just his eyes were visible over the back of the couch. “I know we’ve, ah. Met before,” he said. “But I’m not the same person I was. Honestly.” He paused, and laughed a little anemically. “I guess that probably isn’t very believable coming from me.” 

Wanda lowered her hands, slowly, though she didn’t really relax - but she didn’t feel threatened, either. She’d always had pretty good instincts, especially about people, and right now...she didn’t get the sense that Loki meant her any harm. On the contrary, he seemed genuinely concerned that she might hurt _him._ And more than that…

More than that, he didn’t _feel_ like the Loki she remembered, ancient and full of dark power, rage, and a malicious kind of delight in chaos. It might just be the youth of his face, but then again, maybe it wasn’t. Gods died and were reborn - maybe for them it did offer some kind of fresh start.

Wanda realized that the god in question was still eying her warily and starting to look like he was considering making a run for it. 

“You might have knocked,” she said, and heard Loki exhale loudly - though he didn’t move back around the couch. 

“I did,” he said, looking a little embarrassed. “But you didn’t answer, and it didn’t seem wise to lurk around in the hallway waiting. I didn’t touch anything,” he added quickly, which based on the slightly too wide eyes wasn’t entirely true, but Wanda couldn’t see anything out of place. She couldn’t hold curiosity against him. “I could go out and knock now, though, if it makes you feel better.” 

Wanda gave him a quick look and he smiled at her, uncertainty papered over with a bit of mischief. It was a joke. Teasing her, or maybe testing if he _could_ tease her. His smile faltered when she didn’t answer. 

It was possible, of course, that this was just a trick. She could hear what her teammates would say if they could see her now: _are you crazy? No way. He’ll betray you the first chance he gets._

She’d spent a lot of time being told that she couldn’t trust her instincts. She was growing rather tired of it. 

“Sit down,” she said, gesturing at the couch. “Would you like some hot chocolate?” 

Loki brightened visibly. “That would do very nicely,” he said, hopping nimbly back over the sofa and settling back onto it, feet just an inch or so above the floor. “Thank you, Lady Maximoff.” 

“Wanda will do,” she said. “Especially if in the future you knock.”

This version of Loki, at least, had the good grace to blush.

* * *

Wanda felt a bit guilty keeping her new charge (and she couldn’t help but think of him that way, as her charge, even if cumulatively Loki’d lived for ages longer than her) from her friends. At the same time, she knew how they would feel, and she had no desire to be lectured as though she were a child herself.

“How is Asgardia?” She asked. Loki pulled a face.

“It’s Asgardia,” he said cryptically. “Much the same as ever, except Odin’s gone off and left the All-Mother’s in charge. They’re better, sort of.” He shrugged. 

“Sort of?” Wanda said, raising her eyebrows. 

“They yell a lot less,” Loki said simply. Wanda looked at him, noted the slight hunch to his shoulders. 

“I was sorry to hear about Thor,” she said quietly. “He was a friend.” It was only a guess - after all, as long as she’d known Thor and Loki they’d been at each other’s throats. But she thought that might have changed. 

“Yes, well,” Loki said, looking away. “Prophecy is prophecy. It’s a very Thor thing, dying heroically to avert the end of the world.” Wanda said nothing, just watched him, and Loki’s shoulders hunched further. 

“It’s not a very friendly place without him there, is it,” she said after a few moments of silence. Loki cut her a quick look.

“Oh, it’s all right,” he said quickly. “I’m very good at not being noticed. And Broxton is quite nice. Excellent milkshakes.” 

“And when you _are_ noticed?” Wanda said, beginning to frown. 

Loki laughed, a little anemically. “Ah, I’m not the most _popular_ individual. But it’s not as though - no one is going to _kill_ me.” He paused, and added, “probably,” though quietly enough that Wanda suspected she wasn’t meant to hear.

Wanda pressed her lips together. She’d been thinking about bullying, or isolation, but the fact that he’d gone straight to _murder_ was - disquieting, to say the least. And upsetting. 

At least none of her friends had tried to kill _her._ So far. 

She might regret this. “If you need a place to go when things get...tense,” she said, “you can come here.”

Loki looked at her sideways, through that frustrating fringe of hair. “Thank you, Lady Maximoff,” he said after a moment. “It’s a very generous offer. But that’s not necessary.”

She frowned. “Then what _will_ you do?” 

“I am a very fast runner,” Loki said with a glib smile. She just looked at him, and he shrugged. “I manage.”

“The offer stands,” Wanda said, though she was tempted to argue more vehemently. She had a feeling it wouldn’t get her anywhere, though. “In case you change your mind.”

“Well,” he said after a moment, “I do appreciate it.” He cleared his throat. “Right. Hex magic. That’s what you do, isn’t it?” 

“Yes,” Wanda said, “though I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to teach you. My powers are...complicated.” She hesitated, then added, “besides...I’d think you’d know a lot more than I do.”

Loki frowned. “I do and I don’t.” She raised her eyebrows, and Loki went on: “reincarnation is a tricky business. For one thing, I’m just...not as strong as I used to be, with magic. So some things I can remember how to do but can’t make them work.”

“That sounds frustrating,” Wanda said.

“It is!” Loki looked gratified. “Thank you. Most people are just happy that I’m less powerful than I used to be.” That didn’t seem entirely unfair to Wanda - but then again, it also meant that Loki was more vulnerable in more ways than one. 

“And the other thing?”

Loki looked away, chewing on his lip. “Some things I just don’t remember. Or they’re foggy, or...no one’s _supposed_ to remember all the cycles. Which...this wasn’t a proper Ragnarok, obviously, and apparently Thor ended those a while back, but maybe it was close enough to have some of the same effects.” 

Wanda imagined that. Having holes in your memories, things you knew you were _supposed_ to know but didn’t. She thought of her children, their memory stolen from her ‘for her own good.’ “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. 

“Oh, no,” Loki said. “Don’t be. It is not entirely an ill thing.” His expression was briefly shadowed. Older than it should be.

Oh, Wanda realized. Having all those memories of his old life…

The old Loki had done a lot of terrible things. _Horrible_ things. For a child to have to carry those…even a fraction of them...

“I can imagine,” she said.

Loki dredged up a smile. “There’s no need for that. It’s not so bad, really. Mostly inconvenient.” 

“Inconvenient,” Wanda echoed. “Is that the word for it?” 

The smile dropped away and Loki looked down. “Well, it’s one word.” 

“All right,” Wanda said after a pause. “Let me see what I can teach you.”

* * *

Her bad day had started with a headline she’d caught out of the corner of her eye: _Does Scarlet Witch Deserve to be An Avenger?_

And then it had been another day of people avoiding her eyes, avoiding _her,_ and with Carol gone on her own business and Jan in Paris for a fashion show, Wanda was left feeling distinctly on her own. An outsider, and a dangerous one at that. 

She shouldn’t have snapped at Steve. He probably hadn’t meant anything by asking how she was, but it was hard not to hear the undertone of uncertainty and unease. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling like her teammates were betting on how long she would stay sane. As though she wasn’t working with everything in her to do better, to take care of herself.

Carol and Tony had fought through alcoholism. Hank had had his own breakdown - had _hit_ Jan. She should be able to have her place back, but most of her supposed friends still looked at her like she was about to explode, and it was _hard._

But when she’d caved for a moment and shown a little anger, she’d felt the entire room draw away from her, the spike in tension. Burning had started in her stomach, anger twisted with regret and misery. 

She’d run away. Wanda was ashamed of it now, but in that moment she hadn’t felt like she could stay, their fear bleeding into her and whispering _what if you do lose control, what if you hurt them again?_

So now she was back in her apartment, curled up with the door locked and bolted. Her thoughts wouldn’t stop spinning, and she half expected someone to come knocking on her door to tell her that she no longer had a place on the Avengers team. 

Someone knocked on the door. Wanda swallowed hard twice before calling out, “who is it?” 

“It’s me,” said Loki’s voice. Wanda hesitated, considering telling him to leave, but then took a deep breath and stood, scrubbing her face. 

“Just a moment,” she said, and retreated to the bathroom to splash her face with cold water before opening the door. Loki looked like he’d been fidgeting in the hallway, but almost immediately slipped inside and sat down on the floor, giving her a grin that was just a little too bright. 

“Good afternoon,” he said. “You look lovely as always.” 

Wanda managed not to look down at herself. She didn’t feel very ‘lovely’ at the moment. She almost told him to watch his mouth or it’d get him into trouble, but that was probably a little too close to the truth.

“Thank you,” she said instead, studying his face and trying to decide whether to say something or not. But in a way it was good to be distracted from her own troubles. “All not well on Asgard?” She asked gently.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Loki said. “Same as ever. Really, you needn’t ask. Asgard does its best not to change at all.”

“I wasn’t asking about Asgard itself,” Wanda said. Loki gave her a look through his eyelashes. 

“Thor’s back,” he said finally, and Wanda started. She hadn’t heard that. “Just back,” Loki added hastily. “I think he’s still...settling in.” 

Wanda summoned a smile. “That’s good, isn’t it?” 

“Oh, yes,” Loki said. “Yes, of course. Asgard needs her foremost warrior.” There was just a trace of bitterness in his tone, and Wanda understood. 

“He’s busy, isn’t he,” she said. “With everyone else.” 

Loki’s shoulders slumped a little. “Yes,” he said. “I suppose it isn’t...well, it is all _important._ It’s a bit childish to resent it, really.”

_You are a child,_ Wanda thought, but she didn’t say it, just shook her head. 

“What about you?” Loki asked suddenly. Wanda pulled up a smile. 

“I can’t complain.”

“Well, you could,” Loki said. “I wouldn’t mind. Anyone can complain. Most people do.”

“It just means that...I don’t have anything to complain about.”

Loki folded his hands in his lap. “I don’t think that’s true.” He still wasn’t looking directly at her, but sidelong. “You were upset when I got here. Still are,” he amended. “You’re just hiding it better.” Wanda flinched and Loki gave her a small, unhappy smile. “I can tell when somebody doesn’t want people to know that they’re bothered.”

_I don’t want to make anyone else carry my burdens. It’s my trouble and I can manage it on my own. Especially not you, a_ boy _who is already carrying too much._ “It’s nothing,” she said. “Nothing important. Just a long day.” 

“It’s barely afternoon,” Loki pointed out. “I was surprised you were home.” 

Wanda grimaced, looking for a good answer and a little disconcerted by how easily Loki seemed to see through her. It reminded her a little too much of the old master manipulator he’d been, even if this was probably the most innocent use of that ability.

“Your friends don’t trust you,” Loki said. Wanda’s head whipped toward him, just managing not to jump. She didn’t know exactly what expression was on her face, but he flinched a little where he was sitting on her floor, legs crossed and actually looking at her directly. “It’s true, isn’t it? Maybe they don’t even want to admit it to themselves but you can tell.” 

“Don’t,” Wanda said flatly. He looked down at his hands. 

“I know it’s not any of my business. It just doesn’t seem very fair.”

“They’re just being careful,” Wanda said, though it stung her to say it. “It’s not like they don’t...have reason to be.” 

“Maybe,” Loki said, “but when are they going to decide that they’ve punished you enough? That’s all they’re doing. Keeping you on the fringes so you know that you’re still...in disgrace.” He glanced up at her, briefly. “They should either let you back in or kick you the rest of the way out. Leaving you somewhere in the middle is just cruel.” 

Wanda looked hard at Loki, who looked back down again. “Is that where you are?” She asked. “In the middle?” 

“Oh, no,” he said, with a quick and insincere little grin. “I am pretty firmly out. But you’re the Scarlet Witch! That ought to be good enough for anyone.” 

“I’m afraid my name isn’t quite what it used to be,” Wanda said, trying for her own smile. “But thank you. You are kind.” 

“Oh, no,” Loki said. “Not I.”

Wanda shook her head, and just resisted the impulse to ruffle his hair. 

* * *

Loki was oddly quiet today. Brooding, Wanda thought, though she couldn’t say what on. Asking him would probably just get some kind of glib brush-off, so she didn’t, just made them both a mug of hot cocoa and waited. 

“You had children, didn’t you?” He asked. Wanda stiffened. 

“Have,” she said. “Yes. Why?” 

“Where are they?” 

Wanda felt a pang. She wasn’t sure she wanted to talk about this, least of all with Loki. But that...wasn’t entirely fair, was it? If she was going to treat this Loki like his own person, rather than the one he had been… “They have their own families now,” she said. “It’s complicated.”

“You gave them up to be adopted?” 

“In a manner of speaking,” Wanda said after a moment, and shook her head. “As I said, it’s complicated. Magic was involved, and...transmigration of souls. I am their mother, but I am not...their only mother.” 

Loki nodded, slowly. “I was adopted,” he said, then frowned. “I think my older self tricked Odin into doing it. My father was hideous. I don’t really remember anything about my mother.”

Wanda blew on her hot cocoa, looking at Loki over the rim of her mug. “Do you know anything about her?” 

“No,” Loki said after a brief pause that made her think that might not be the whole truth. “I know Frigga better. But she’s...I don’t think she’s ever known what to do with me.” 

Wanda set her mug down. “Why did you ask about my children?” 

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know.” She just looked at him, and he shifted, taking a gulp from his mug of cocoa. “I was curious. I wondered if you still thought of them as...yours.” 

“Yes,” Wanda said without hesitation. That was easy. “I do.”

“Do you still talk to them?” 

Wanda felt a pang. “Sometimes,” she said. “I want to...give them room to have their own lives. Separate from me. Nor do I want to...make their parents feel pushed aside. They know I am here and we have spoken, but...I don’t push.” Maybe this was more than she should say, but she felt the urge to be honest. Especially with what Loki had said. Or hadn’t. 

“Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd,” Loki said. “Those are their names, right?” 

Wanda’s head jerked, her eyes flashing to Loki as she tensed in spite of herself. “How did you know that?” Loki frowned at his mug and didn’t answer, and she leaned forward, her voice hardening. “Loki. Are you watching them? Have you gone near them?”

He looked up, a peculiar expression on his face. “What if I had?” 

Wanda inhaled, anxious anger briefly pulsing in her chest. _Stay away from my children,_ she thought, and almost said it, but something held her back. She looked at Loki again, who was watching her, face too blank. 

He stood up, suddenly, brushing invisible crumbs off his tunic. “I should be going. It makes the All-Mothers nervous when I disappear for too long.” 

“Loki, wait,” Wanda said. “Just...tell me how you know their names.”

“I found them on the internet,” Loki said blandly. “They have StarkPads in Asgardia now. And everyone has a Facebook profile. I haven’t actually talked to either of them. I just like to know things.”

Wanda felt a slight pang of guilt. She didn’t think her reaction was totally unjustified, but...she could recognize that she’d hurt Loki, and whatever else he was, he was a child too. A lonely, confused child who, she had gathered, mostly escaped getting hurt by running faster than the people chasing him. 

And what if he _had_ talked to Tommy or Billy? Would that necessarily be a bad thing, or would it just be a step toward Loki actually having friends his own age? It was too late to think that her boys wouldn’t end up caught in the superhero life, and if nothing else, Loki could be a valuable member of a future team, and maybe a friend. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I...overreacted.” 

“I don’t know about _that,_ ” Loki said, smile quick and easy, but it faltered when Wanda met his eyes. 

“Don’t tell me it didn’t hurt you,” she said. “Though I think you mentioned their names to test me. Which I _don’t_ like.” Loki looked down. “But I shouldn’t have assumed you meant harm, either.”

“It’s fair,” Loki said after a moment. “Not to trust me, I mean. I probably wouldn’t.”

“You haven’t given me a reason not to yet,” Wanda said. 

Loki smiled at her, though it wasn’t a very good smile. “My name isn’t enough of a reason?” 

“Not for me.” _Or at least, it shouldn’t be._

The false smile faded, but Loki stayed where he was, halfway between her couch and the door.

“Sit down,” Wanda said. “Finish your hot chocolate.” 

Loki came back over slowly, but he sat down and picked up the mug again. Watching her closely. Nervously. Wanda’s stomach knotted unhappily. 

“I won’t hurt you,” she said. “You know that, right?” 

“Of course you won’t,” Loki said, but it wasn’t a very good lie. She tried not to let that hurt. 

* * *

Wanda woke up to thumping on her door. She pulled on a bathrobe and hurried to open it, and looked down at Loki, standing there with his eyes red-rimmed and tears still on his cheeks even as he moved to dash them away. 

“May I come in?” He asked, voice wavering just a little. 

“Of course,” Wanda said, trying not to show her alarm. “Come in, sit. Can I get you something?”

“No,” Loki said, “that’s all right.” He came inside but didn’t sit down, just stood in the middle of her living room with his arms wrapped around his own body, looking lost and miserable. When he didn’t continue, Wanda went into the kitchen and put some milk in the saucepan for hot chocolate. 

“My friend is dead,” Loki said, voice toneless. “Her name was Leah, and she’s dead.” 

Wanda fell very still, a wave of sadness washing through her. “Leah,” she said, turning back to Loki. “I’m so sorry.”

“She was a handmaiden of Hela,” Loki said. “And when she’d done what Hela wanted her to…” He trailed off. “We used to get milkshakes together in Broxton.” 

Wanda moved back out of the kitchen and over toward Loki, but she didn’t reach for him. Loki seemed to shy away from touch more often than not. Wanda did not like to think about why. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” Loki said. He was quiet, looking down at his feet. “The All-Mothers are angry with me. I made...I made a choice that wasn’t the one they wanted. They send me to do their bidding but when I don’t do it the way _they_ want it’s _wrong-_ ”

“What did they send you to do?” Wanda asked, frowning. 

“End a war,” Loki said with a shrug. “And I _did._ I did end it. And Leah died, but no one _cares_ about that.” 

Wanda was still caught on grown rulers of a nation of Thors sending a small child to end a war, even if the child was Loki. But she didn’t think there was any point in taking on _that_ subject. “I’m sorry,” she said again. 

Loki shook his head violently. “Don’t apologize.”

_Someone should._ “It isn’t an apology,” Wanda said. “It’s sympathy.” 

Loki looked at her and seemed to slump. “Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing somehow,” he said in a small voice. “Everyone seems to be waiting for waiting for me to fail.” 

Wanda felt a painful twinge in her chest. Oh, how she knew how that felt. The sense that everyone was holding their breath, just waiting for your collapse.

Loki slid down to the floor, knees pulled up to his chest. “Maybe they’re right,” he said. “Maybe all I can be is...the wicked Loki. I killed Thor, you know. Well, not directly, but I arranged things so that...he’d die fighting the Serpent. That he’d kill it before dying, but still. The Norns said...but maybe there was another way around it, if I’d only tried harder.” 

Wanda looked at him and her heart ached. She thought of her friends: their wary glances, their mistrust and doubt. The mutants who said she should be locked up for what she’d done, that she was crazy, too powerful and too unstable. The death threats mailed to Avengers Tower. _You should die for what you did, crazy bitch. Too bad we don’t burn witches at the stake anymore. You’re going to burn in hell._

She sat down across from him. “I killed some of my teammates, a while back,” she said. “My friends. I was...out of control. Angry. I don’t know if I knew exactly what I was doing or not.” 

Loki looked at her, frowning. “You undid it.” 

“But I still did it.” Wanda looked down at her hands. “There are a lot of people who still think that...I can’t be trusted. That I can’t control myself. That I’m...dangerous, insane.

“I spend a lot of time telling myself that they’re wrong,” she said quietly. “That they don’t know me. That I’m stronger than they think I am and I’m not what they say I am. That nobody defines me but me.” 

“They do, though,” Loki said. “If other people are always pushing you into a box...how can you stay out of it? Expectations matter. Perception matters. In the end...does it really matter what _you_ believe, or just what other people think you are?”

“I don’t know,” Wanda said honestly. Loki blinked at her. “Maybe it doesn’t. But I have to believe it does. And I’m not...I haven’t figured it all out. Some days it’s all I can do to not...give up.” She summoned a small smile. “But I’ve always been stubborn.”

Loki glanced up at her through his eyelashes, looking very young. “I would like to believe you’re right.

“Then do,” Wanda said. “Or at least tell yourself you do. Sometimes acting like you believe something is the first step to believing it.” She bit her lip for a moment, then stood up. “Come here.” 

Loki eyed her warily, but he stood and moved over to her. Wanda pulled him into a hug. Loki hugged her back slowly.

“You are a very brave woman, Wanda Maximoff,” he said. “Your friends will have to see it eventually.” 

She sat down again after he left, though this time on the couch. Oddly, she felt like crying, but not exactly in a bad way.

_Nobody defines me but me. Big words._

But she’d said it. Sometimes acting like you believe something is the first step…

She picked up her phone and called Jan’s number.

* * *

It had been a year and some since she’d seen Loki when he dropped by again, looking quite a bit older than he should have. He gave her a faintly sheepish smile. 

“Bit of a long story,” he said. “You can ask Billy.”

“Billy?” She said. “ _My_ Billy?” She wasn’t sure whether to feel alarmed or pleased that apparently one of her sons was spending time with Loki. 

“Yep,” Loki said. He paused, and frowned. “Or perhaps you shouldn’t ask him. Probably better not.” Wanda frowned, and he added quickly, “oh, he’s fine.”

“What does he have to do with you looking - like this?” Wanda asked, gesturing at Loki. 

“Like I said,” he said, “it’s a bit of a long story. Magic was involved. You know how it is.” 

Wanda just looked at him for a long moment, trying to decide whether or not to let that slide. She’d seen weirder, certainly, but his reluctance to actually tell her what had happened...maybe she _would_ ask Billy. “Do you want to come in?” She asked carefully. 

“Oh, no,” Loki said. “Can’t right now. I’m on business.” He flashed her a glib smile, more or less the same one he’d had as a ten-year-old. “I just thought I’d drop by.”

Wanda frowned. There was something ever so slightly different about him, and not just his face. Darker, she realized. Older. She felt a little uneasy turn, looking at Loki’s eyes, but then his glib smile faded and uncertainty crept into his expression and she pushed the feeling away. 

“So you’re dropping by but you won’t come in to catch up?”

Loki glanced away. “Well. I actually had something specific to say.” Wanda raised her eyebrows, and Loki took a deep breath and let it out, smile fading the rest of the way. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and Wanda had the distinct feeling that he’d changed what he was going to say. “I don’t know that I ever thanked you properly,” he said. “You were a friend. I didn’t have a lot of those.”

“You’re welcome,” Wanda said slowly. “But…’were’?”

“I think I’m going to be fairly busy for a while,” he said. “I don’t know how much time I’ll have to stop by. And who knows what will happen? The world could end. We could all die and come back different versions of ourselves. But I didn’t want to leave things...unfinished.” 

“All right,” Wanda said slowly. “But if you want...you’re welcome here.”

Loki flashed one of those glib smiles again. “You’ll probably regret saying that.” 

She met his eyes. “Or maybe I won’t.” 

That seemed to throw him off, some. He blinked at her, then shook himself. “You look well,” he said more seriously. 

“I am.” 

“Good,” Loki said awkwardly. “Good.” He paused. “I should go. Like I said, business.” He took a step back. 

“Thank you,” he said again, a strange note in his voice. And then abruptly: “I hope you are right. About people changing. About being...what you want to be, and not what the world thinks you are. I really do.” 

Wanda raised her eyebrows. “You’ve changed, haven’t you? And not just your age.” 

Oddly, that made Loki’s eyebrows pull together, his expression tightening. “Yes,” he said. “I suppose I have.” He bowed slightly. “Goodbye, Lady Wanda Maximoff.” This time when he stepped back he seemed to - blur. And then was gone. 

Wanda closed her door quietly, frowning. Something seemed odd about the whole thing. Off. About Loki, and it had nothing to do with the extra ten years he’d gained in a couple months. But she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. If he came back to see her again, she thought, she’d ask. 

Somehow, though, she had the feeling he wouldn’t.


End file.
